The top ten things you need to know about Caravanning

Caravanning is a way of life. Adam and I are learning more and more about its ins and outs the longer we travel. I was thinking about it tonight and just wrote this jokey article which I thought I'd share on here:

Thinking of caravanning? Here are the top ten things you must know before you pull into your first van park.

1) There is no sleeping in.

People in caravan parks like to rise early. They have places to be and they need to get there ASAP. I know, I know, they are on holidays, but there is no rest for the wicked and the early bird gets the best site at the next van park. Plus many caravanners are older retirees and they’ll be the first to tell you, they usually wake by 5am anyway. So expect a lot of clatter and banging, car engines starting and loud morning greetings, before the sun is even in the sky.

2) Privacy is a thing of the past.

You may have dreams of quiet nights in a tranquil bush setting, reading a book in your folding chair outside your travelling home. But while that can happen if you head off the beaten tourist track, or into a national parks campground, most of the time you will be on a small site (grassed if you are lucky) with another caravan, campertailer of campervan a few feet either side of you and quite possibly one behind you as well. Most have flimsy walls and lots of open screen flaps and windows, which means sound travels- a long way. Your own conversations and those of the people around you, will bounce across the reaches of your not-so-quiet oasis for all to hear. And that’s before the lights go out and the snoring starts. You can hit your own husband when he starts to grunt and snort in his sleep, but you can’t do much about the foghorn five caravans down.

3) People like to watch.

Caravan parks are like mini theatres, with an ever changing cast and crew watched by an openly curious, and often downright nosy, audience. New arrivals to the park are like a new set of actors entering the stage. Oldies sit at their outdoor tables and stare as the latest travellers struggle to back up their van and maybe exchange a few harsh words to each other in the process. A good domestic during the treacherous setting-up-of the-van process can brighten any caravan park afternoon. If you are young and appear inexperienced, all the better. Still in our thirties and on our first long-haul caravan journey, my husband and I usually draw plenty of attention.

4) The toilets stink in the morning.

We humans often follow a fairly set routine when it comes to eating and ah, expelling our waste. The after breakfast trip to the amenities block is therefore never a pleasant experience. Often there is a queue and the toilets invariably stink. There are also all those embarrassing bodily function noises emanating from the cubicles, adding to the overall experience

5) Someone will always know better than you do.

There are tens of thousands of people currently on the road around Australia, many of them have lapped the country more than once, and let me tell you, they know a thing or two (or three or four) about caravan travel. They know how to get the best fuel consumption, the best places to see and the places not to see. And they won’t be backwards in coming forwards when it comes to telling you the things you should be doing, or shouldn’t have done. There is no solution, but to nod politely and agree.

6) The Honeymoon is Over.

No matter how much you love your partner, living in a confined space for an extended period of time will test even the strongest relationship. Especially if your chosen mode of traveling accommodation is small (in our case a 12 foot 26 year old caravan). Being with someone 24/7 can be tough, especially when you can’t move from one side of the van to the other without crashing into each other. Tension between couples on the road is the subject of many jokes. Expect it and do your best to create space when it’s needed.

7) Things go Wrong.

No matter how well laid your plans, things will invariably come undone from time to time. The caravan park you want might be booked. Your warm tropical week in northern Australia might be windy and rainy. You might blow a tire or your vehicle might suffer some other type of mechanical problem. Be prepared and stay flexible. Throwing the odd tantrum sometimes helps too.

8) The Washing lines are always full.

Washing and drying clothes when on the road can be a difficult chore to complete, especially when the limited number of clothes lines and driers always seem to be full. Unless you are one of the above mentioned early birds, my advice is to wash at night. Get in way before the sun has come up.

9) You become a slow driver.

Before my husband and I began towing a caravan we used to complain about caravans on the road, travelling below the speed limit, often with a line of cars banked up behind them. "Bloody caravanners" we’d mutter. Now we are one of those moving road blocks. We travel carefully and usually sit a bit below the speed limit, not because we have to, but because we get better fuel consumption that way. And with petrol one of the biggest on-the-road expenses, if you start towing a caravan, I guarantee your Fangio days are over. Of course some people do take this concept to new levels, crawling along at a snail’s pace. Bloody caravanners.

10) Caravanning is one of the best things you’ll ever do

Despite points 1-9, nothing beats the freedom of the open road. The sense of adventure and fun which comes from exploring new places at your own pace and the flexibility which comes from taking your accommodation with you. Australia is a fantastic country full of beauty and diversity and there are lots of great people to meet. Don’t put it off. Hook up that caravan and hit the road.